My name is Laura and I am a chronically single girl.
Pheeeewww. It felt good to get that out of the way.
Do you know what is possibly seen as the worst part of it though? Being single around Christmas.
However, here is my list of reasons as to why being single around Christmas doesn't have to be a horrible experience involving hideous Christmas jumpers, endless crying and generally being that single girl but that the festive period is the best time of year to be single. Honestly, it is. Bear with me.
Reason number 1: So. Much. Cheaper. You don't have to buy your partner any presents. Or their mums. Or worry about how much is appropriate to spend on them. To make it even better, I spent the money I may have used if I had a boyfriend on myself and bought a fur stole and some cool band shirts. Surely this is a win-win situation?
Reason number 2: Guilt free holiday time. That's right, you CAN spend all Christmas Day in your pyjamas with your family (not his, never his) not really doing anything at all and that be it. Then party New Year's Eve up with your best friends and some random New Years Kiss and not feel guilty or be stuck being the other half to a boring "romantic night in" couple. I think I know where I'd rather be this New Years, and it doesn't involve a sofa but does involve some drunk midnight kisses and fun with my friends thank you very much.
Reason number 3: No stupid drama about the rubbish present your other half is bound to get you. "Oh wow, a lovely pink Parker pen with my name on it? How sweet..." Fan-fucking-tastic. Instead of being down about your relationship status, buy yourself something you actually want, or spend some money on drinks with the girls and actually enjoy yourself rather than having to fake loving whatever awful present your man could have thought up. Trust me, it feels so much better.
Reason number 4: Office party snogs. Okay I don't have direct experience of this, but office Christmas parties are made to get completely silly on cheap mulled wine and have a cheeky kiss with that guy from work. 1. You can blame it on the mulled wine. 2. You can also blame it on the mistletoe. 3. Any reason to drunkenly kiss a lovely guy from work is completely okay in my book. Embrace being single, and that glass of mulled wine.
Reason number 5: You don't have the worry about getting an awful present/getting dumped/having an awkward Christmas dinner with his family. You know why? Because nobody wants to spend Christmas with a box of mansize tissues and a face like a wet seal has repeatedly slapped it (this is my crying face, with some added running mascara). Spend it how you want to instead, without having to worry about your other half, or losing your other half even.
Enjoy Christmas being your own, get shamelessly drunk or stay in your pyjamas eating cranberry sauce straight out the jar, but don't have a Bridget Jones "All by myself" moment about being single over Christmas, because, well...does that even need an explanation?
(And another point, there's no shared presents. I mean, what are they even about?!)